Something that I have had to come to grips with over the years is that there is a part of me that is contrary and rebellious. It’s a quiet rebelliousness, one that generally goes unnoticed, but there is a point where I can recognize it for what it is.
In school it followed me through art projects. If someone mentioned that two colors didn’t work together, or that a certain pattern was too busy or boring I would go out of my way to try and use them in some way and make them interesting. The time it was most obvious to me was with the “stalker clock” – adding a clock my art teacher had mentioned finding ugly looking through a third floor window. If something was difficult or tricky I liked to try my hand at it, even if it didn’t turn out well, just to say that I tried.
It’s not just an art-specific itch, either. I’ve heard people talk about cliches and tropes that are overused in writing and spent hours brainstorming ways to make them interesting, or add a new twist that would freshen them up. In baking I’ve repeatedly decided to do something finicky and difficult specifically because it’s finicky and difficult. I wanted to see if I can make macarons, or choux pastry, or pretzels, well.
I know part of it is just human nature. There is some part of every person, no matter how small, that wants to be just a little rebellious. For some people it’s loud and large – crazy hair, or crazy clothes, or crazy tattoos. For some people it can be as small as wearing fuzzy socks with a business casual attire.
And it’s not always a bad thing! Thinking outside of the box and pushing boundaries, it’s allowed people to make changes and create new fields. Impressionist paintings, the many different styles of knitting, chocolate covered potato chips: they all came from someone looking at the way things were always done and deciding to go a little to the left or the right of normal.
That doesn’t mean that every bit of rebellion works out as a masterpiece: I’ve had my fair share of mess ups that I look back on and cringe about. The experimental recipes that you take a bite out of and throw out. that one art piece you thought would look really cool but that you ended up painting over in the hopes no one would realize how badly you messed up. That knitting project that you frogged because you realized the pattern was going nowhere and the yarn was still usable. But the failures don’t discredit the triumphs: The new favorite cup cake recipe, the unexpectedly pretty yarn color combination, your quirky new favorite piece of art. If you want to push the comfort zone a little, go for it! Maybe you’ll soar or maybe you’ll stumble but you’ll learn something new, even if it’s just what not to do.
