So this isn’t a terribly long short story (only like 500 words) but it got me thinking after I wrote it. I only saw bits and pieces of a british comedy called “the IT crowd” about the IT workers at a company and I started wondering what a spy parody movie or series about the IT / tech department would be like.
You always see the gadget montage in spy movies, where the tech guy comes out and shows them all the neat things and gizmos they have at their disposal for their mission. Who comes up with them? Is there an R&D department just sitting up at 2 am around a white board and three pots of black coffee going “guys, guys, listen: It’s a ring with a laser hidden in the stone so that they can use it to deactivate security. And it has a matching bracelet that can be turned into a knife!”.
Who builds all these gadgets? Who tests them to make sure they work? Do spies ever get into mundane trouble where they call up their super secret tech team and go “yes, i’m fine. Yes the mission went well. No, I’m not being pursued, but the map system on the neat invisible car is driving me in circles on this free way and I’ve just made a loop though the same turnabout for the third time. Help.”
This short story was written in the comedy vein, so I hope it gives you all a chuckle at least!
Tech Support:
“I swear to heaven, Timothy, one of these days,” Samantha hisses into her phone, pinned between her ear and her right shoulder. “One of these days you’re going to call me going ‘oh, Samantha, I’ve gotten myself trapped over a pool of voracious piranahs, I need you to save me’.”
With a sharp click Samantha’s apartment door finally unlocks and she pushes it open with her hip, tossing her keys and purse onto the side table in her foyer and kicking the door closed. “And I’m going to tell you, ‘sorry, Tim, I’ve got to finish curing cancer’ or ‘my research has been recognized by NASA, I’m off to be an astraunat colonizing Mars, I’m afraid I can’t help you! Figure it out on your own’.”
She stomps into her office, kicking her heels off even as she starts undoing the knot on her wrap dress. Thankfully she’s had the foresight to wear athletic shorts and a sports bra underneath. Not foresight for this specific scenario, but just in case. Somehow her evenings off always end up being spoiled by one thing or another.
She shucks the dress off and tosses it over her desk chair, yanking open the office closet while Timothy has the gall to laugh. She pulls on the second back shelf, using it as a lever to pull the false wall open to reveal her secondary computer setup.
“Would it make you feel better if I told you you’re my favorite person in the world?”
Samantha flicks the fan for the area on, already knowing that by the time she is done the room will be hot and stuffy. She’d meant to get more space for the secondary set up, just in case, but she’s supposed to be retired from gigs like this. Curse her overly adventerous school friends. “I don’t think your wife would be too thrilled to hear you say that.”
A woman’s voice calls faintly over the speaker, “I’m fine with it, if it get’s us the plans quicker!”
Samantha pauses, her secondary computer booting up rapidly and flashing the first of the seven access password screens, then groans as she pickes up her headset and transfers her call from her phone. “I should have known you two sould do somtehing stupid together. Cynthia I want it on record you married a moron.”
“Oh agreed,” Cynthia sounds far too amused at the insult against her husband. “But he’s an adorable moron with a great sense of humor.”
Samantha fake gags as she starts rapidly entering her passwords and then pulls up GPS to start triangulating their call.
“Now, what stupidity did you two get yourselves involved in?”
